This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.


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Monday, June 04, 2007

The Specialists

I attended a training session recently to "update" my skills. I was almost excited at the prospect of being taught something by a human being, as opposed to filling in a two-hour workbook online. Unfortunately, the training was delivered by the sergeant of a certain department in our force area and within five minutes had deteriorated into a slanging match.

The sergeant himself seemed embarrassed to be there, and his efforts to defend his department were woeful. The last two years have seen the manning levels in his office almost double as PC after PC is recruited from response teams. Yet the impact on our workload has been negligible. If anything, it has gone up, as we now find our paperwork winging back to us with further work suggested by our former crew-mates, and every week a new form or risk assessment is designed by someone needing material for their PDR.

Meanwhile, that Friday night, fights and car crashes went unattended as Blandmore completely ran out of police officers. It was a case of phoning back the victims in ten minutes to see if they really did need the police or could they wait until the morning. By the morning, perhaps we need not bother.


I reaped the rewards of that Friday night for several weeks as I chased witness after victim after CCTV to cobble together some kind of investigation into each of the disasters I had shown my face at. The specialist departments helped me out by email prompts every time I forgot something. It was a bit cheeky of me to expect them to take over the investigations before they were complete.


By 2012, I expect to have seen most of Blandshire's specialist departments dissolved, and then reconstructed with new names. If we keep things fluid we can say we're doing something.









It's a tricky choice for the force that only has enough police either to attend incidents happening NOW, or to investigate the incidents properly afterwards. If I were lying in the road getting a kicking, I know which one I'd want.

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Copyright of PC Bloggs.

8 Comments:

Blogger Phill said...

Having been on the floor getting the kicking, I know which one I'd have preferred too.

Sadly instead of being protected (Having made a 999 call inside a club after a man was ejected for hitting me) the police were nowhere to be seen and my attacker was waiting for me outside. I got arrested for my troubles (The police magically appeared after my attacker started laying into me), was held in cells overnight and interviewed by detectives in the morning.

Had the 999 call been responded to as the call handler had instructed me, I wouldn't have been beaten up and tax payers money wouldn't have been wasted investigating an incredibly one sided 'affray'.

I guess preventing crime doesn't provide any figures.

As Chief Wiggum says in the Simpsons:

'We're powerless to protect you, not to punish you'

04 June, 2007 20:50

 
Blogger copperface said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

05 June, 2007 09:45

 
Blogger copperface said...

Yup, the forces of unimportant minor detail hold sway.
We have just undergone training, and when I say we, I mean the ENTIRE force was instructed over a three week period to travel to HQ and sit through two droning monotonous hours of drivel, about how we will only 'serve our customer base (!)' according to their needs. Having attended several community meetings, where the main complaint was litter, and neighbours children making noise and playing outside their houses, do we just concentrate on this now?
Incidentally, when in my best consultative fashion, I asked the community leaders for what they thought we should do, one piped up with:' Do what they do in Brazil, send people out and cull them....!!' Now thats what I call focusing on our citizens.
(BTW Kent Police, section 7 on your wonderful PDR page as linked above, can I send you a snotty missive about your spelling - how does that appear to the community?)
Solutions, the police leadership have to have some balls and learn to say NO, this is not a police matter, and no officer is going to be sent.
Concentrate on what is important to the silent majority, and not be swayed by quality of life issues. Since when were the Police a force for social engineering?

05 June, 2007 09:48

 
Blogger copperface said...

This sums up the whacked out state of affairs created by Home Office targets and promotion chasing numpties:

We trained hard . . . but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.

05 June, 2007 10:32

 
Blogger Whichendbites said...

Ahhh, training, the reassuring way of creating the illusion that we are highly trained and professional and at the same time covering things for when the big head in the universe starts to see how the Forces are doing with respect of the relevant topics. There is training and training, development and protecting one's behind. Diversity, how to speak to people nice, take an interest and show you care. Would be nice if this applied to everyone.

05 June, 2007 21:08

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You do not seem to have obtained permission to use the London Olympics logo.

This breach of copyright is a criminal offence!

Report yourself at once, before someone else does.

(Or has Red Ken given you a special dispensation?)

06 June, 2007 12:52

 
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