Closing down the Airwaves.
I am saddened by this story, sent to me by a reader, that radio chatter is to be stemmed by Northants Police in a move to save cash. One of my favourite pastimes is giving amusing "closures" for jobs and making wry comments over the air. (Closing a job is when you inform the control room of the outcome of the incident and what actually happened - as opposed to what the caller said when they called initially.)
My top six wry radio comments are:
- "One of them called the police but no one wants to own up to it."
- "I know the original caller said someone had been stabbed, but there really are no offences here!"
- "I think by 'suspicious', the caller meant 'Irish'."
- "The only unwelcome person in this pub is me."
- "I have two words for you: substance abuse."
- "These aren't the boys we're looking for, they can go about their business. Move along."
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Copyright of PC Bloggs.
18 Comments:
Um 'Lights are on but no one in'?
08 February, 2007 18:59
'Comms they dialled the wrong number it seems that they actually wanted the local taxi firm and a B&B for the night'!!
08 February, 2007 21:24
i followed the link and found to my astonishment that bobbies in northants had 'more than 100 ways of saying yes.'
more than 100 ways of saying 'not in my remit'... now that i would have believed.
08 February, 2007 23:57
"Informant advised next time they are passing a Life shop to pop in and get one."
09 February, 2007 00:17
I want to know what these hundred ways to say 'yes' are! I'm struggling to make 25...
09 February, 2007 01:54
"I'll be clear, Nora-Henry-Ida."
(Nora-Henry-Ida are the radio phonetics in the US for "NHI," No Humans Involved.)
Also, "I'm clear, no paper, refused medical, he agreed to put his pants back on." After just what it sounded like.
09 February, 2007 04:27
I like the short results to save money.
LOB - (load of bo**ocks) but you have to be careful as control room sometimes type this on the log.
ATNS - Area traced, no search.
09 February, 2007 09:24
I can understand the need to be clear and concise, and leave no room for comments to be misinterpreted by other officers, but how much money are they expecting to save?
09 February, 2007 10:24
Its not thaaaat bad!
09 February, 2007 11:50
*that was with loads of waffle cut out*
09 February, 2007 11:50
The head of Northants Comms is Superintendant SMART.
Ha ha ha.
O2. See wot you can do.
Nice one Bloggs.
09 February, 2007 12:18
Do you not get annoyed by the long drawn out closures where someone drones on about absolutely nothing relevant, when you are waiting to get in for something slightly more important.
But the short amusing closures are just fine.
09 February, 2007 16:26
"Mrs Krznowskiaia, usual spelling, is unwilling to make any allegations and suggests that officers go forth and multiply. We have obliged her. Please show me meal-break".
09 February, 2007 23:20
Bloggs is fab, she is great,
I consider her my mate,
For that word thing at last,
She has kicked it up the ar...christ I've gotta be up for work in the morning.
La la lah. la la lah,
la la la la la la lah,
la la lah, la la lah,
la la la la la la lah.
10 February, 2007 01:21
Yes uniform there were a number of youths here but they made off on police arrival.
That caller is reporting that incident for information only (after we've listened to them prattle on for 30 min or more)
I'm here in a liveried vehicle and no ones come forward and made themselves known, we've leaving now.
And my personal favourite
That's us leaving now, no offences disclosed and no complaints.
12 February, 2007 21:54
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